Art by Monica Adrian (me) |
They are:
1. Feelings
2. Novelty
3. Effort
When you have sex with someone you don't have feelings for you will eventually get tired of it even though the sex was initially good or even very good. In about 4-6 weeks it will generally lose its luster. The reason being is that if you don't have feelings for them and it's lost its novelty, there isn't going to be any passion left to it. In a situation like this if you want to keep the same partner after the 4-6 week mark, it may be worth considering adding feelings to the relationship. If not that then it's probably a good time to just move on.
Many relationships start off with infatuation. Much of this infatuation is due to novelty. But if you truly have feelings for each other they should stay even after the initial infatuation period. At the same time, if you feel that you have a great relationship and do have feelings for them, but the sex is now lacking, this isn't cause for breaking up. This could be due to a great many factors including biological hormones or stress. And in a long-term relationship it is unrealistic to expect that the sex will always be passionate just because the feelings are there. During times like these the best way to fix it is to introduce novelty to the bedroom again. I don't mean by switching partners or adding additional ones, but by simply getting new lingerie or adding touches of romance. This can go a long way to getting back that passion. The idea is that you are showing an effort.
Neither feelings or novelty is going to make sex passionate without effort also being involved. If both people are not entirely present, there will not be passion between them.
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