Search for enrichment first before commitment.
A
strong connection must be made for two people to feel comfortable enough to
share their personal feelings, ideas and experiences with each other. A
surface-level casual relationship does not have the capacity to foster this.
From close shared human experiences, life lessons will be learned and
perspectives broadened. If you surround
yourself with honest, intelligent and positive people you will undoubtedly
gain an enriching experience that makes you a fuller, deeper and wiser
person. If you are unable to feel enriched by a relationship, then any
happiness felt is shallow in nature. A great relationship both nurtures and
educates. If a relationship is able to enrich for an extended
period of time, commitment will then follow.
A
relationship in many ways is like a poem. When interpreting Robert Frost’s
theory of poetry into relationship advice, it makes surprising yet astounding sense to do so.
He even compares writing poetry to the process of pursuing love. In his
essay, “The Figure a Poem Makes,” he states that,
“It begins in delight and ends in wisdom. The figure is the same as for
love….It begins in delight, it inclines to the impulse, it assumes direction
with the first line laid down, it runs its course of lucky events, and ends in
a clarification of life – not necessarily a great clarification that sects and
cults are founded on, but in a momentary stay against confusion.”
A relationship needs to at least
make sense at the time. That’s all we can really expect from ourselves and each
other. A relationship should be enjoyable, like he says, “a course of lucky
events,” and in the end we should feel enriched by the experience of it.
We
cannot expect that every person we meet will stay the duration of our lives.
But if we can gain some bit of wisdom from it, then we have something that has
deepened our soul to better our entire future. And if that clarification of
life was not received, then we had at least experienced that “momentary stay
against confusion,” when the relationship was occurring. Sometimes having this
is enough to be thankful for.
Perhaps the best
thing we can commit ourselves is to truth, knowledge, and delight. And in
that sense we can live a life of poetry.
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