How to Work on Your Grocery Store "Game"

Illustrated and written by Monica Adrian


With life being so busy, there just isn't always time to keep hitting up bars or clubs when you are looking to date. But why not come home with a few numbers after doing your errands? Being single, you are always on the lookout wherever you are, and it's incredibly frustrating when you are at a loss of how to approach someone. Here are some tips that will totally up your grocery store "game". Choose the one that's right for you, and you'll know what to do the next time you see a hottie in the meat department.


Before you decide how to approach singles at a grocery store, you'll need to pick which grocery store you think would work best for you.

Wholefoods

 When shopping at Wholefoods you are going to find more vegetarians/vegans, hipsters, or people who are more health oriented which generally means in better shape. You'll also find many with higher incomes because they can afford the price of better quality food. For this reason I pick Wholefoods as the best place to pick up groceries and dates.

Trader Joes

This store isn't quite as upscale as Wholefoods but it's definitely a great alternative. And if you actually do have a lot of groceries to buy you'll still get good quality for a better price. If you don't have a Trader Joes near you, you'll get a similar experience at Fresh N' Easy.

Vons, Albertsons, Ralphs

Unlike the other two options above, these stores accept coupons so you are going to find thriftier people shopping here. For this reason, you will also find the highest amount of married people at these locations. So please, before attempting any of my tips when coming to these supermarkets you must check for a ring first. It will save you the embarrassment.

 

And now I present a series of grocery store "plays" that will kick up your "game" into high gear.

The Kumquat

This play works in two ways. If you see a girl who is struggling to reach that top shelf, help her. Or if you see a guy you are interested in, start reaching! If he's into you at all he'll pick up the cue. Once this is executed it should be pretty easy to exchange names and numbers.

The Damsel in Distress

This one is a little more complicated and only really works if you are into fine cooking. Here's what to do:
Stop what you are doing and conspicuously make the most confused looking face you possibly can. DO NOT try this one if there are employees around you. It will ruin it because they will try and help you instead. Now if he finds you attractive he will most likely ask what it is you are confused about. Now this is where it gets interesting. You go from playing the damsel in distress immediately to sounding like some hot-shot food expert by answering with something like, "I can't decide if my fillet mignon will go better with a beurre blanc sauce or a red wine reduction." This abrupt change of persona will make you all the more intriguing. Now what should happen next is that he asks, "Wow, who are you making this for?" This is his way of asking if you are single. You answer that you just feel like indulging yourself tonight and that you are not seeing anyone. He will definitely want in at this point, especially after being enticed of what a great cook you must be.

The Wholefoods

A lot of professional people will stop at Wholefoods for their lunch break. They have a section of delicious quickly prepared or ready-made options. Now if you see a cute guy or girl also being served, try to make subtle eyes at them or exchange a smile. Then checkout at the same time they are. In the front of the store they have tables in which to eat on. Before they leave, usually they'll stop to get napkins and utensils at the kiosk which will give you time to catch up to them if your checkout line was slower. At this point ask them something along the lines of, "I don't know if you have to take off now, but I was wondering if you'd like to have your lunch with me." This way you get an instant date. Or...if they have already sat down and have begun to eat feel free to ask, "Do you mind if I join you?" That simple.

The Starbucks

This will work at grocery stores like Ralphs, Vons, and Albertsons, where they generally have a small Starbucks inside. If you see a pretty girl or lovely lady ask her, "May I buy you a drink? They have a Starbucks here." She'll probably be pleasantly taken aback but it should work to your favor. Or even better...you can buy one of their most popular drinks like a caramel macchiato, and ask an employee to give it to her with the directions of having them say something like, "Compliments of the tall gentlemen with the eggs." She'll find it both comical and extremely flattering. What girl doesn't want a guy who's funny, creative, and sweet?

The Sour Grapes

This may suit you best if you are a saucy kind of gal. It doesn't work for guys as much because it might come off as being rude. Let's say you see a handsome guy with some dubious items in his cart or a cart packed with tons of alcohol. Don't be afraid to say something snarky or sarcastic like, "That's a very well balanced meal you've got going on." If he's showing that he's into you, feel free to continue the playful banter.

The Gentlemen

When their is a long line, let the woman cut in front of you. She'll appreciate the chivalry. Make small talk with her, and if things are going well catch up to her and offer to escort her bags to her car. I bolded the words above, because if you aren't feeling instant chemistry asking to escort her will make you look more like a creeper than a gentlemen.

The Switcheroo

If you see a hot guy with a relatively light-loaded shopping cart while you have a basket, as quickly as you can, start overloading it with drinks or other heavy items. Now you must only attempt this transaction if you are not in the front of the store. Try to look like you are struggling with the weight. He may very likely offer himself to exchange his cart for your basket, and if he doesn't feel free to ask him politely to. While you are undergoing this exchange, it won't be difficult exchanging names and numbers as well. The reason you don't want to do this in the front of the store, is because it would make it too easy for you to grab your own shopping cart instead of switching with him.

The Road Block

If you see a hot guy or girl heading your way, here's a way to make sure they don't get away. Innocuously position your cart so that it's blocking the aisle. If they want to proceed forward it will force them to ask you to move it. Try to look deeply involved with what you are doing so that she or he will ask you again, allowing them to step nearer to you so that they can be heard. At this point hopefully their cart is positioned relatively close to yours which will make maneuvering them all the more difficult. Be polite and instantly apologize while you attempt the correction. However, take your time, and try to turn setting them straight into a playful activity. Before they pass you, ask for their name or number.

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