Original Poem - Not Your Girlfriend

Not Your Girlfriend

You had me sympathize your irrationality,

"I don't know why I'm this way,

that is how I think of you,"

But now you hold yourself firm,

Sensible,

And it seems I am the delusional one,

But if I want the validation,

I want it,

And if I can't have it,

Then one answer will do,

For I prefer it to your elusiveness,

That self-deprecation provided to appease me,

Eat this while you wait, it might as well be,

You treat it like I'm being childish,

That I don't know where my values are,

But if it is so childish a notion,

what is the point of your withholding?

Haven't I been good?

What more can I show you?

You've now known the worst of me,

I can be pushy and too passionate,

...if that's how you see me,

I am presently somewhere far away off,

I followed my own path with you and without you,

For you had mislead me,

Can I be reeled in?

Brought down,

Lowered to where you stand?

If I take your hand this way,

Will I just be jerked around

till I lose all sense of you,

and all that is us,

But perhaps that is the wrong metaphor, for

It's likely that we may suffer from too weak a grasp,

I don't understand the hold you have on me,

Oh I get it! It's a simple defense,

But time is just one variable,

with an arbitrary end,

And when my heart cannot count,

it is feeling spent.

written and illustrated by Monica Adrian

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