Not Your Girlfriend
You had me sympathize your irrationality,
"I don't know why I'm this way,
that is how I think of you,"
But now you hold yourself firm,
Sensible,
And it seems I am the delusional one,
But if I want the validation,
I want it,
And if I can't have it,
Then one answer will do,
For I prefer it to your elusiveness,
That self-deprecation provided to appease me,
Eat this while you wait, it might as well be,
You treat it like I'm being childish,
That I don't know where my values are,
But if it is so childish a notion,
what is the point of your withholding?
Haven't I been good?
What more can I show you?
You've now known the worst of me,
I can be pushy and too passionate,
...if that's how you see me,
I am presently somewhere far away off,
I followed my own path with you and without you,
For you had mislead me,
Can I be reeled in?
Brought down,
Lowered to where you stand?
If I take your hand this way,
Will I just be jerked around
till I lose all sense of you,
and all that is us,
But perhaps that is the wrong metaphor, for
It's likely that we may suffer from too weak a grasp,
I don't understand the hold you have on me,
Oh I get it! It's a simple defense,
But time is just one variable,
with an arbitrary end,
And when my heart cannot count,
it is feeling spent.
written and illustrated by Monica Adrian
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